Divorce Deception: How to Spot and Defeat Unethical Tactics - Part 2

By: Jarbath Peña Law Group

If you’re reading this, you may already be going through one of the hardest seasons of your life. Divorce can leave you feeling drained, frustrated, and uncertain about your future. The process is difficult enough when both spouses act fairly. But when one spouse turns the divorce into a game of manipulation and deception, it can become even more painful.

We started this series last month, so let’s continue to break down the most common sneaky divorce tactics, how to recognize them, and what you can do to fight back.

Running Up Debt

How to Spot It

A relatively common sneaky move spouses will sometimes make to gain an unfair advantage in divorce is intentionally racking up debt before the divorce is finalized. A spouse might max out joint credit cards, take out personal loans, or finance expensive items with the hope that you’ll be on the hook for half of it.

If you notice new credit card bills arriving, big-ticket purchases that have no good explanation, or sudden withdrawals from home equity, your spouse may be trying to stick you with financial baggage.

A savvy, experienced lawyer knows how to spot this type of activity and how to present it in court. The good news is that if your spouse is caught doing this, it will look very bad for them. Judges heavily frown upon those who play games within the court system.

Example Scenario

Let’s say that your child comes home from time with your spouse and is very excited about dad’s new boat, new furniture, and a trip they are all scheduled to take to Taiwan. You have heard nothing about such extravagant purchases and know that your soon-to-be ex cannot afford such things. You talk to your lawyer who has a forensic accountant do a little digging. You all discover that your spouse put all these new expenses on joint credit cards. Therefore, technically, you are also responsible for paying this credit card off. If the debt looks marital on paper, your spouse could try to argue that you should share responsibility for these debts.

How to Counter It

Close or freeze joint accounts when possible. Monitor your credit reports regularly to make sure no new accounts have been opened in your name. Your attorney can argue that the debt was incurred in bad faith, and courts often exclude such debt from equitable distribution.

Lying to the Court

How to Spot It

Some spouses take dishonesty to the extreme by lying under oath, exaggerating your behavior, or even presenting false documents to the court. This can feel shocking and deeply unfair, especially if you value honesty.

Example Scenario

Your spouse accuses you of being an absent parent, even though you’ve attended every school event and doctor’s appointment. Or, they claim you earn more money than you actually do, hoping to sway spousal support calculations.

How to Counter It

Facts and evidence always speak louder than lies in a court of law. Keep records of your time with your children, pay stubs, communications, and anything else that proves the truth of your family situation. Your attorney can present this evidence to discredit false claims. Judges tend to favor litigants who are honest with the court, and disfavor those who have engaged in deception.

Secretly Recording You

How to Spot It

In high-conflict divorces, some spouses try to provoke you into losing your temper and then secretly record your reaction. Their goal is to create “evidence” to use against you in court, especially in custody disputes. They may bait you with insults, accusations, or deliberate lies until you snap.

Example Scenario

You are having a heated argument with your spouse about proposed custody schedules. Your spouse claims you never cared about the kids, while their phone is recording from the counter. If you yell back in frustration, they might later present the recording to suggest you’re unstable or unfit as a parent.

How to Counter It

Stay calm, even when provoked. Always work from the assumption that your spouse might be recording what you say, especially during in-person interactions. So maintain your composure no matter what they say to bait you.

Keep communication in writing—emails, texts, or through a parenting app—where your tone remains clear and calm. If your spouse does record you, the court is more likely to see the full context if you have proof that you’ve otherwise been level-headed and reasonable.

Quitting a Job to Lower Support Obligations

How to Spot It

Some spouses deliberately quit their job or take a lower-paying position to reduce child support or alimony obligations. They claim they can’t afford the payments while knowing they are capable of earning more.

Example Scenario

Your spouse, who has always worked as a software engineer, suddenly takes a part-time retail job during divorce proceedings. They argue that they can no longer afford child support beyond a bare minimum, hoping the court will calculate payments based on their new, reduced income.

How to Counter It

Florida courts can impute income—meaning they look at your spouse’s earning potential, work history, education, and job market to assign a realistic income level. If your spouse intentionally lowers their earnings, your attorney can present evidence of their true earning capacity so that support obligations remain fair.

Using Friends or Family As Spies

How to Spot It

Some spouses use mutual friends, neighbors, or even family members to gather information about you. These “spies” may casually ask about your personal life, finances, or new relationships and then report back.

Example Scenario

A mutual friend frequently checks in, asking innocent-seeming questions about how you are doing or asking if you’ve been dating. Later, you discover your spouse knew details you never shared directly.

How to Counter It

Be mindful of what you share during divorce, even with people you trust. Keep conversations about your case private and focus on neutral topics in social settings. If you suspect someone is reporting back, limit your contact with that person during the court process, and be careful to share sensitive details only with your attorney.

We Can Protect Your Interests

If you suspect your spouse is trying to manipulate you during your divorce, it’s critical to act quickly. Attorney Fritznie Jarbath understands how emotional these cases are and has fought for parents in some of the most complex custody disputes in Florida. At Jarbath Peña Law Group, P.A., we work tirelessly to protect your parental rights and, most importantly, your child’s well-being.

Don’t wait until the damage is done— schedule your consultation today.