5 Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before Getting Married

By Jarbath Peña Law Group

There is a moment in almost every engagement that nobody warns you about. The proposal was perfect. The celebration was unforgettable. And then, somewhere between the ring and the venue deposit, real life shows up.

Suddenly you are talking about bank accounts, in-laws, whether to have kids, and who is moving where. Conversations you maybe assumed would “work themselves out” are now front and center—and how you navigate them will set the tone for everything that follows.

At Jarbath Peña Law Group, we work with families at every stage—from couples building their future together to spouses navigating a painful separation. And the one thing we have learned from years of family law practice? The couples who talk about the hard things before the wedding are far better prepared for what comes after it.

Here are five conversations every couple should have before saying “I do.”

1. Money: The Full Picture

Financial disagreements are one of the leading causes of divorce, not infidelity, like so many people believe. Yet so many couples walk down the aisle without ever having a truly honest conversation about money.

We are not talking about a vague “we’re both savers” chat over dinner. We mean the full picture: how much debt each person is carrying, what their credit looks like, how they were raised to think about money, and what they believe financial security actually means.

A meaningful financial discussion should include:

• Current income and earning potential

• Student loans and other debts

• Credit scores and financial history

• Spending and saving habits

• Retirement goals

• Investment accounts and assets

• Financial expectations during marriage

The questions worth asking:

• Will we combine finances, keep separate accounts, or use a hybrid approach?

• Who is responsible for existing debts—student loans, credit cards, car payments?

• What are our long-term financial goals?

• What does our financial life look like in 5, 10, 20 years?

• What does financial security mean to each of us?

In Florida, assets and debts acquired during a marriage are generally considered marital property and subject to equitable distribution if the marriage ends. That means what feels like “your” debt today could become a shared issue tomorrow. A prenuptial agreement is one powerful way to get ahead of this—and it is far less intimidating than most people think.

2. Children: If, When, and How

This one might seem obvious, but you would be surprised how many couples assume they are on the same page when they are not. “We want kids someday” is not a plan. It is a placeholder.

The real conversation goes deeper:

• Do we both want children? How many?

• Who will be the primary caregiver, and what does that mean for each person’s career?

• How will we handle discipline, education, and religious upbringing?

• If one of us has children from a previous relationship, how do they fit into our family structure?

Important questions include:

• Who will serve as the primary caregiver?

• How will childcare responsibilities be divided?

• What values do we want to instill in our children?

• How will we handle disagreements about parenting?

From a legal standpoint, parenting decisions—custody arrangements, time-sharing, child support—are among the most contested issues in Florida family law. Having alignment on these values before marriage does not just prevent future conflict. It creates a stronger foundation for raising children together.

3. Careers, Roles, and Who Does What

Two careers, two sets of ambitions, and one shared life. It sounds manageable until one of you gets a job offer in another city, or one of you wants to leave the workforce to raise your children, or one of you starts a business that demands everything.

These are not hypothetical problems. They are some of the most common sources of tension we see in family law cases. Before you get married, talk about what a fair division of household responsibilities looks like to each of you—and be honest about whether those visions align.

Discuss:

• Career goals for the next five to ten years

• Relocation possibilities

• Expectations regarding stay-at-home parenting

• Household management responsibilities

• Financial support if one spouse leaves the workforce

Questions to work through together:

• Would either of us be willing to relocate for the other’s career?

• If one of us steps back professionally, how do we ensure that person still has financial security?

• How do we divide household and childcare responsibilities in a way that feels equitable to both of us?

If one spouse plans to leave the workforce or scale back their career, this is also the right time to discuss alimony provisions in a prenuptial agreement. Florida law gives courts broad discretion over alimony—but a prenup lets you and your partner define those terms yourselves, on your own timeline, when you are still a team.

4. Family, Boundaries, and In-Laws

When you marry someone, you do not just marry them. You marry into their family, their history, and their sense of obligation to the people they grew up with.

Differences in how couples relate to their extended families—how much time is spent together, how much financial support is given, how much a parent’s opinion influences major decisions—can quietly erode a marriage over time if they are never openly discussed.

Have the honest conversation about:

• How much involvement do we want from each other’s families in our day-to-day lives?

• Are we expected to financially support aging parents? If so, how does that fit into our budget?

• How do we handle conflict when our families do not see eye to eye?

These conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they are far less uncomfortable than navigating them for the first time in the middle of a family crisis. Knowing where you both stand—and agreeing on boundaries—is an act of respect for each other and for the marriage you are building.

5. Estate Planning and “What If” Conversations

Nobody wants to talk about death or serious illness before their wedding. We understand. But here is what we know from legal practice: the couples who never have this conversation are the ones most devastated when the unexpected happens.

Getting married triggers important legal changes. In Florida, your spouse becomes your next of kin by default—but that does not automatically mean they inherit everything you own. Without a will, a trust, or proper beneficiary designations, Florida’s intestate succession laws decide who gets what. That process rarely reflects what you actually wanted.

Before the wedding, discuss:

• Do we have wills or an estate plan? Do we need to update or create them?

• Who are the beneficiaries on our life insurance, retirement accounts, and bank accounts?

• If one of us becomes incapacitated, who makes medical and financial decisions?

• If either of us has children from a previous relationship, how do we protect their inheritance?

A basic estate plan—a will, a durable power of attorney, a healthcare surrogate designation—is one of the most meaningful things a newly married couple can put in place. It is not morbid. It is a love letter to the person you are committing your life to.

The Conversation Is the Foundation

Marriage is one of the most significant legal and personal decisions you will ever make. The couples who thrive are not the ones who avoided the hard conversations—they are the ones who leaned into them.

At Jarbath Peña Law Group, we help couples in Miami and throughout South Florida build that foundation the right way—whether that means drafting a prenuptial agreement, creating an estate plan, or simply helping you understand your legal rights before you walk down the aisle.

You are not planning for failure. You are planning for a future. And that is always worth protecting.

Have questions about prenuptial agreements or estate planning before your wedding? Contact Jarbath Peña Law Group today at 305-615-1005 to schedule a consultation.